Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, FANGIRLING, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, LIVE MUSIC, PHOTOGRAPHY, POP CULTURE

HAIM TIME

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feel free to click on the photos for larger sizes/a better view!

Ciera & I saw HAIM last night at The Orange Peel in Asheville. It was SO GOOD. You know how you leave a show and you’re like, “hey, that was good.” and then you don’t think so much about it again – not this. THIS WAS SO GOOD. There was so much girl power in the room, I could barely catch my breath. Those gals are TALENTED, I’m serious – youtube some of their live performances or download some of their tunes (recommendations: “Send Me Down”, “My Song 5”, and “If I Could Change Your Mind”). I’ve been waiting to see them for YEARS, and we scored close parking and a decent spot at the show – I don’t really know how much more you could ask for. Well, a diet pepsi would have been great, but whatever.

(Side note: MAJOR PROPS to The Orange Peel for fighting NC’s stupid beyond belief bathroom laws for trans individuals – they posted signs on the bathrooms telling you to choose the bathroom you wanted to use, and if you wanted somewhere safer, there was a private bathroom available. SO many kudos to them for that.)

Highlights of the night: Alana’s bad ass drumming, Este’s Prince cover (one of my favorites – “I Would Die 4 U”), and Danielle’s voice is just literally siren song. Ugh. I loved it. I had so much fun. And no panic attacks! That’s a huge plus. I can’t remember the last time I was in a big crowd and didn’t have a panic attack.

My pictures aren’t great, but I’m sharing the few that turned out to be semi-decent. Annnnnd that’s pretty much it. I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with every Haim sister simultaneously, so if someone could get a message to them ASAP so we can work something out, that would be absolutely great.

 

Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, FUNERAL SERVICE, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, MENTAL HEALTH, turning 30, writing

FORTUNATE

I’ll be thirty soon. In just a little over 3 months.

It feels hard to believe and also just right, you know? Like, wow. I can’t believe I’m not 11 and listening to Hanson and waiting for Taylor Hanson to eventually deflower me. And also like wow, I can’t believe I’m 29 and listening to Hanson and still wish it had been Taylor Hanson who deflowered me. Somewhere in between all that.

I’ve become quite introspective as my twenties have gradually started to draw to a close, which I feel is probably very normal – sometimes I look back at the last decade and ask myself “what the hell did you waste all that marvelous, youth-laden time for? You should have done so much more!” And other times, I look back and I laugh and cry and thank God Almighty that I have seen and done so many of the things that I have, because life moves so quickly that sometimes I forgot how great it has been – and truly, life has been kind of wild.

Though I’m reaching this milestone birthday that (to me, at least) is supposed to really signify the crossover into full blown adulthood, this place where I should be totally together and everything everyone expects of me – there are times where I feel less sure of who I am than ever before. Truth be told, I never really know what to think of myself.  Do any of us? Perhaps this is the last great hang up of my twenties – perhaps it will take much, much longer to figure out. I recognize that I get caught up a lot in living a social media life. I want my life to look pretty and I want you all to think that I’m interesting and fun and worthy of love, and I want to be someone that you want to know. I am very lonely a lot of the time, many times when surrounded by people I love – but I don’t want you all to think of me as lonely. I want to talk to you about my mental health problems, but I worry that I’ll do or say something and you’ll think I’m just “crazy”. And most of all, I worry that you think something must be wrong with me because I am single. That’s the greatest worry of all. Sometimes I want to show up on the internet performing tricks, juggling fire, belting arias, anything just to distract you from the fact that I’m single – because it makes me feel different. And feeling different makes me feel bad.

So I worry. And that’s silly, isn’t it? To worry about what people MIGHT be thinking of you. But boy, I am the queen of it.

There are many days where I struggle with who I am and with my life’s path, because let’s face it – three months won’t make me a together kind of girl. I won’t magic myself into adulthood just because the calendar says so. And I feel like a lot of times, I don’t have many people to turn to for guidance – I just don’t know any other morbidly obese, lipstick fiending, bipolar morticians who burst into tears at even the thought of Elton John… I’m kind of my own species, it feels like. I envy those who are excitedly getting married and having children right now, because that is so very, very adult. No one could ever question those people because they are doing typical adult things, and that makes them official adults, right? It is ridiculous to feel this way, because I’m literally envious of people who are getting things that I don’t want – but what I do want is to feel normal, and there are a lot more save the dates and baby bumps out there than there are morbidly obese, lipstick fiending, bipolar morticians. I’m not kidding when I say that sometimes it is my biggest shame that I am not another wife in a Lilly Pulitzer dress getting excited over flatware – I wish I had that in me, but it’s like a synapse that is misfiring – I can’t will myself to be her. I constantly try to cover up my life like a cat turd, because somehow I’ve convinced myself I should be ashamed of it. I still catch myself willing life to fast forward to the “good part” where I magically become some normal person who isn’t always so very, very, THIS.

But on good days, on days where I haven’t sunk too low into my worries, I try to grab ahold of myself, shake myself by the shoulders and remind myself that what I constantly  fail to acknowledge is that this IS the good part. It’s MY good part. And it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s good part.

Like I said, on a good day, when there are no triggers or setbacks or tensions, I love my life with such ferocity that my heart could burst. I feel gifted, truly, with the one thing that shames me the most: being single. If the perfect man or woman comes along for me, that’s bitchin, and I’ll be stoked – but that relationship could never be more valuable than the one that I’ve been building with myself as I am forcibly dragged into adulthood. There’s a reason I’m single,  and I’m not ashamed of it (at least not today – it’s a good day) – I’VE GOT MORE TO LEARN FIRST. I’ve got further to journey before someone else can come along, because I am, for some reason, lucky enough to be given both the gift of self knowledge, and the time required to truly learn who you are. I know that by society’s standards, I’m supposed to be a wife and a mom by now, and growing up, I never really thought either way about what would happen to me when I got older, but I assumed it would look like everyone else’s life – and the moment I realized that it didn’t and that it wouldn’t, well, I have been scrambling to camouflage my oddities ever since.

But really – when you divorce yourself from what you think your life should look like and focus on what actually makes you happy and who you want to be (and not who you want people to think you are), there is this freedom that you would have never ever been able to dream of. My grasp of this concept ebbs and flows, depending on the day. There is sadness, too, when you align yourself with this line of thinking, because with that acceptance also comes a certain type of goodbye to a person you’ll never be – goodbye, Ashley in a Lilly Pulitzer dress, picking out shades of paint for the guest bedroom – but the pain feels worth it, somehow. Like that girl had to die so I could truly live. I mean, that’s sort of harsh, but you feel me. I’ll never know (well, I guess I will, I’ll ask Jesus about it after I die, right after I ask him who really killed Jon Benet Ramsey) why I’m meant to be eternally marching to the beat of my own drum, but who knows – maybe I’ll magically figure it out when I turn 30. For now, I’ll just keep wondering and marching. Well, maybe I’ll march more towards October – it’s getting hot outside here and I’d like to avoid boob sweat.

What I wish I could stop being ashamed of is simply just being who I am and feeling the need to explain away all of the things that I see as flaws – how the hell did I get to be this way?! Why am I the rudest person my self has ever encountered? And what I need to constantly remember is to STOP COMPARING MY LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE!! We can all be happy and different and it doesn’t make me less to be just one person and not part of a pair. If the greatest relationship I ever have is with myself, then that’s awesome. If I find someone else who is a match for me, that’s awesome, too. But this mentality of thinking that I’m not enough or not on the same level as my peers because I don’t have a baby or a husband/wife – I hope that toxic thinking is the first damn thing to go when I turn 30. Because I’m more than enough. Hell, I’m too much – and not even in a braggy way. Just literally. I’m exhausting.

Above all things, I just want to  be grateful for this season of MY life – all seasons, really. Things seem so difficult and meaningless and frustrating all of the time, and I complain the days away and bitch about what is and what isn’t – but if I had to be honest and sum my life up with one word (other than “lipstick”), the first thing that comes to mind is “fortunate”, and that kind of blows me away, you know? I was so surprised, when it appeared, quite taken aback – but then  I nodded to myself. Yeah. Fortunate. Sounds about right.  

 

Posted on in MAKEUP/BEAUTY

*AIRPLANE EMOJI*

I am afraid of airplanes. Well, was. I was afraid of airplanes.

Here’s the thing about fear: contrary to popular belief, you don’t owe anyone any sort of explanation about the things that scare you. For example: I think it is silly that my mother is afraid of snakes and that Tom is afraid of horseshoe crabs, but I’m not going to ever invalidate their legitimate concerns because it is THEIR fear to wrestle with, not mine – it isn’t for me to understand. I think horseshoe crabs are hilarious and I can’t possibly imagine what could be scary about them – and that’s great! But that’s me, not Tom. I know that no matter how many times I tell Tom “horseshoe crabs aren’t going to hurt you”, it doesn’t change a thing in his mind.

I’m sure many people think it is silly that I am afraid of graphic neck-breaking scenes in movies and television shows and that the idea of boarding an airplane is like a fate worse than death, but guess what? It’s perfectly valid, because that fear is real to me. And no amount of telling me “planes are safer than cars” or “but planes are so fun!” or any other helpful but totally misplaced tagline about air travel was going to fix that.

As much as I try to avoid airplanes, sometimes convenience wins. We decided to fly to Disney World this most recent time, simply because we had so little time. We were to fly out of Greenville at 8:20 AM and connect in Atlanta, have an hour and a half layover, and then fly directly from Atlanta to Orlando. We were scheduled to arrive in Orlando around 12:45, which cut down on travel time and the exhaustion that the car would have caused – because an 8 hour and some change drive can be a real energy suck.

In the days before the trip, I totally changed. My mouth constantly tasted metallic, my heart seemed to always be racing – I couldn’t watch television without getting nauseous immediately at a commercial for an airline, or at the mention of a plane on a TV show. All I could think about was IT  – it being the lack of control. The what if? The dizzying claustrophobia of being packed in to a metal bird with hundreds of strangers. The plane malfunctioning and us all being blown to smithereens – all elements that I couldn’t control. My mind spun so much in those last few days that I couldn’t even concretely focus on the element of discomfort I was feeling the most.

Alas,the long and short of it is that I did it. I flew. I’m not even really prone to having a huge fear of death, but when I stepped foot on that plane and buckled into my seat, I never thought I would see my family or friends or cats or (most importantly) makeup collection again. I was sick all morning long, sick when I handed over my luggage to a stranger, sick while we waited to board, sick when I looked out the window and saw the plane. I cried, I begged to somehow not be forced to do it, I told Ciera & Tom that I would go home and grab my car and meet them in Orlando, I did whatever I could to not get on that plane.

But I did it. And I survived it. And marvelously, shockingly – I KIND OF LIKED IT.

Did my friends holding my hands as I wept during takeoff help squash my fears? No, but it certainly did help to comfort me. Did the klonopin I popped fix everything? Sure didn’t. In actuality, what I found that helped me the most was just giving in. Surrendering control – and boy, that’s easier said than done, especially for me. I live for control. But somehow, when your back is pressed against the seat and that bad boy is shooting upward like a rocket, there’s a certain moment where you realize, hey, it’s too late now. You don’t get to control this part anymore. You can control how you react or how you behave, but that’s really it. Whether you like it or not, you’ve committed, and there’s no turning back, getting out, or quitting. And if you die, you die. And it’s really just that simple.

Coming to peace with this notion whilst hurtling through the air was pretty life changing, actually. As I snotted into my complimentary Delta blanket, I realized that this was a pretty cool opportunity to just chill the f out on some of the fears I heap on myself and go with the flow. I believe this notion is also commonly called “it is what it is” – and really, it is, isn’t it? If the plane crashes, if a terrorist is on board, well, it always would have been that way. There’s nothing I can do about THAT, except not focus on it until it (or if) ever becomes reality.

The other thing that really helped me was thinking about all of the many, many, many, many, many, MANY things that I have been afraid of in the past that I did and somehow survived – and how I eventually got past the fear. I YODELED IN FRONT OF JEWEL, for God’s sake. That alone should convince me that I could climb Everest. Before I started embalming, my greatest fear, the one thing that I swore that I would never be able to handle or do or participate in was embalming an autopsied body. It was too visceral, too much, a flayed man/woman on the table in front of me like a disgusting puzzle that I had no way of knowing how to put back together. From the moment I started back at the funeral home, I sat in terrified wait every time we got a death call, just willing it to not be an autopsy.

However, in line with God’s sense of humor (because when God says you are ready, you realize it just about the time that he has already pushed you off the cliff) – the first autopsied body I embalmed was a child. A very young child. And in that moment, that body was no longer a big meat puzzle that I didn’t want a part of – it was someone to help RIGHT NOW. It (pronouns removed for privacy) was someone who needed something I could give, and it just became the way it was. It was what it was. It wasn’t a question or a choice or even something I thought twice about. And that was how I got over my fear of autopsied bodies. (Trivia moment: I now even prefer to embalm autopsied bodies).

Fear is the worst, but it is important, too. I think it says a lot about us on a spiritual and personal level, and listening to your fears is vital – but so is overcoming them. I never thought I would embalm an autopsy. I never thought I would ride a roller coaster. I never thought I would yodel in front of my favorite singers of all time. I never thought I would fly again – but I did. I did all of those things. And now I’m glad – because I’ve experienced them on both sides of the spectrum. The fear, and the relief.

I guess in the end, what helped me get over my horrific and lifelong fear of airplanes was realizing that I could die at any time and it might as well be now, with a Malibu & Diet Coke in hand (though I’d prefer to go to glory with a Pepsi, just saying), partnered with the nightmarish reality of my everyday life. Yikes, that doesn’t seem so uplifting, now that I think about it. But I promise you, at 10,000 feet in the air – it totally was. And you know what? I can’t wait to fly again.

Who the hell would have ever thought I’d say that!

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Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, FUNERAL SERVICE, MENTAL HEALTH, PHOTOGRAPHY, SCHOOL, writing

Summertime Sadness

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Well, it is unofficially and undeniably already here – my very own case of summertime sadness (thanks, Lana, for giving such a clever name to that listless and unfulfilled feeling that haunts me from late May until early September).

I’ve got a lot going on these days. I’m working full-time as apprentice funeral director/embalmer, I’m going to school full-time (which involves traveling an hour and a half away twice a week to Piedmont Tech for biology classes after work – meaning I don’t get home until nearly 11 PM at night) – this plus the rest of the coursework for other classes and trying to maintain sanity as I learn an entirely new career that isn’t quite so simple (I mean, embalming a human body is a little more complicated than working as a cashier at Target, and I can say that with confidence, as I have done both) – my point being, I don’t feel good. I’m stressed, and stress is hard for me, because I take it to a bad place. I take it to a place of blame and self doubt and it is truly the sickest and cruelest thing I could ever do to myself. I feel sad a lot lately. I feel overwhelmed and stretched thin and all of the things that I love seem to go abandoned – like blogging, reading, crafting, etc. I know – at least I hope and pray – that all of this will be worth it in the end, when I have that degree and my apprenticeship is complete, but it is hard to give away your time when you feel like you have none to give, I guess. Especially now, during my personal hardest time of the year.

I’ve always been prone to summertime sadness – while everyone else is orgasming at the first mention of summer rolling in, I withdraw, isolate myself, go away inside – I’m mean, snappy, frustrated easily, angry – I don’t know why this is. I just know that I have never felt joy in this time. It has always felt like something to be suffered (probably because I have the good common sense to be revolted by 95 degree heat). And mentally, as far as my levels and mania and ups & downs go – this is where I always find myself at my worst and most desperate. So to have an already heaping amount of external stress dumped on top of a place where I’m already trying to hold a hand over an open wound in myself feels like a mountain I’m too tired to climb again this year. Already, my teeth are gritted, shoulders hunched, “can’t can’t can’t can’t” a steady mantra on repeat in my mind.

I thought that taking a mini vacation to Disney World before this semester began would be a really good thing for me, and in some ways it was (pics to come later) – I flew again for the first time in years and got over that major fear (HALLELUJAH), and that felt AMAZING – plus I had a great time with my best friends at one of my favorite places in the universe, so you really can’t complain about that. Sadly, some “triflin’ shit” got in the way of pure & total rest & bliss, and it put quite a bit of a damper on my relaxation, but that was also a learning opportunity, too, which I’m grateful for – I’m quite used to trying to constantly be everything for everyone, and I worry to the moon and back about everyone’s happiness but my own. Fortunately, the aforementioned “triflin’ shit” helped me to put my foot down and realize that sometimes I deserve to be happy, too. And I think that was a big step for me – and having that notion cinched in my mind is something I’m going to carry with me into the summertime sadness – I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, TOO. There. I said it. It’s on the internet, so it must be true.

I think something important for me, at least during my bouts of summertime sadness, is to be mindful of my triggers, so I can at least step around the landmines as best I can vs losing my damn leg to one. But how to get past the depression? That, I have no clue. This is how I always end up around the beginning of September plotting my suicide and being irrational and out of control to the point that none of us – my family, my friends, myself – know how to handle me- I get so down that I can’t see up, only straight ahead.

I guess I just wanted to chat with myself on my blog and rationalize what I’m feeling. The first step to getting over or past any hurdle is to accept it, and I accept it – I’ve got the damn summertime sadness. It’s a real thing, it’s valid, and I’ve got to somehow gird my loins and try to make it through. And mostly I think I just needed a good whine, and writing always makes me feel better. I get so damn hung up about writing and trying to make it perfect, but none of it will ever be perfect – and I guess I’d rather post lots and lots of sullen or meaningless crap than look back and wish I had taken the time and wonder what I was thinking way back when.

Feel free to leave your favorite summer suggestions in the comments – just remember, I hate the outdoors, all people, places that aren’t air conditioned, and basically everything. Just kidding – I’d love to know your tips and tricks for summer fun – or, even more importantly, what helps you get through your own version of “summertime sadness”.

Till next time xx

Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, disney, FANGIRLING, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, PHOTOGRAPHY, POP CULTURE, writing

DISNEY DAY 2 (pt 2) – MARCH 2016

So, like I said in my last post, this one is going to be dedicated to the Festival of Fantasy parade … because it’s the FESTIVAL OF FANTASSSSSSSYYYYYY! Tom and I routinely sing the soundtrack to this parade throughout the funeral home on any given day, it is very magical.

This was my third time seeing FoF – it accidentally happened to me for the first time when I was sitting outside languidly eating a cheeseburger slathered in nacho cheese (don’t you dare judge me) at Pecos Bill’s in November of 2014, which is the short story of how I got to see Flynn Rider for the first time with a cheeseburger clamped in my fist, staring up at him in dumbstruck awe. The second time was in March of 2015 (sadly, no cheeseburger was present) – we stood off to the side of the castle and watched the parade come around. This last time, we happened to be at the train station and ran off the train to watch when we realized it was time. They had the majority of the train station roped off for people who aren’t poor like us, so we had to stand all cramped to the side like sad little peons, so these aren’t the best pictures, but hey, whatever. Enjoy!

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So this was our vantage point, what a nasty, ugly view, right?

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I am about 80% certain that the Prince Charming in this situation here was formerly the Peter Pan that was so mean to me that I had a weeping breakdown that could only be cured with a Dole Whip.

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I looOooooOove the dress on this float, bless it.

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FROZEN BABIES

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QUEEN OF ALL THINGS.

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This picture of Rapunzel is SOoOoO bad, but it was the only one that I snapped so IM SORRY.

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This should make up for it tho

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Legendary mer-goddess, queen of my heart and forever my ultimate icon

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I LOVE the detail in the Peter Pan float.

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These bratty sweeties

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Speaking of bratty sweeties! ❤

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MerMer!

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This is another favorite float – DISNEY GOES STEAMPUNK!

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That weird child

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My favorite part of the whole parade ❤

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I NEED ONE OF THESE COSTUMES NOW

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❤ ❤

 

Okay, I think next up will be Animal Kingdom, so stay tuned! I’m really trying to get these posted before I go back next week :X Fortunately Universal Studios broke my camera (full story later) and it’ll be hotter than a witch’s tit, so I doubt I’ll be taking many photos anyway. BUT STILL. Trying to be efficient!

Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, disney, FANGIRLING, PHOTOGRAPHY, POP CULTURE

DISNEY DAY 2 (pt 1) – MARCH 2016

I know you have all been sitting at home crying out of misery and agony, just waiting for me to post my next installment of my last Disney-venture (lol), but OMG if school and work could just chill for a minute, that would be great. Things have been so busy, I expect my head to fly off any minute.

Anyway! Gonna do this post in two parts. First part will be randomness around Magic Kingdom, the second will be solely focusing on the Festival of Fantasy parade. So, without further adieu, this is day 2 (pt.1)  – MAGIC KINGDOM!

Our morning started out just like every other Disney morning – promising each other the night before that we would get up early enough to be there when the park opened, sleeping through our alarms 500 times, lots of grumbling and complaining, emergency trips to the bathroom, highly caloric Mickey shaped breakfasts, and whining about the Florida weather. The usual.

Because she is the best, Tifni took the day off from work to spend with us at Magic Kingdom. Also because she is the best, she gifted me a pair of matching ears that we wore together all day – since she & I met through instagram, one ear had our insta handles on it, and the other had Minnie & Daisy taking a selfie. All hand painted by Tifni & the cutest damn things EVER. We had also pre-planned our outfits so that we would be lookin’ precious all day long (as long as you were able to ignore my sweat mustache). Anyway, she came to our hotel after breakfast to meet us (YAY!!) and we bussed on over. Though it was hotter than 40 hells outside, it was a really gorgeous day, and it wasn’t exceptionally crowded, so BONUS.

First stop for these kitty girls: we had to say hello to Marie. And I’m SO glad that we did, because she has since been replaced by STITCH, which is a hateful a cruel joke, if you ask me. Not that I don’t like Lilo & Stitch, but I got burned three times by a blind box incident wherein I kept only getting the same Stitch, and frankly, that is when the magic left me.

(Robyn & mom opted out of this photo opportunity, but there were there with us in love and spirit and kittykraze)

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If you can’t see Tifni’s dress clearly, IT HAS CATS ON IT and is the most precious thing ever. Marie seemed to love us, but frankly, she always loves Tom more. Every time they see each other, it gets really poignant and romantic.

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See what I mean?

 

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KittyGirl squad!

Barf-a-roni at this photo quality tho.

It is at this time that I would like to point out two things: yes, I know how awesome my dress is, because frankly it thrilled me so much that I didn’t even care if I went into the parks at all, just so long as I could wear it all day and twirl around like I was a star of toddlers and tiaras – and 2 – yes, I totally ruined my dress’ aesthetic with sneakers. YOU WALK 14 HOURS IN A DAY AND COME BACK TO ME AND SAY SOMETHING.

Next, before our adventuring truly began & before our hair went totally flat in the Florida heat, we went off to the castle to take some glamor shots!

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All the boob sweat in the world was worth how adorable this photo is.

I call this photo series …. trying to take pictures and almost being murdered by a stroller.

Like I said, I was reallllly stoked to show off my dress – so I spread that puppy out wide & proud. Then I realized that Tom had completely cropped my skirt out of the shot. So I died inside.

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Though we finally got it sorted in the end.

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My beautiful mUUUUuther, all decked out in her haunted mansion gear!

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A selfie to show off the detail in the ears that Tifni made for me!

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When the castle has the crane up, I literally pretend the castle doesn’t exist.

Moving on!

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We watched the band play and made our way over into God’s greatest and glorious place, Tomorrowland!

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Tomorrowland is the best because it features Disney World’s greatest ride, the PeopleMover. The PeopleMover has some of the best views of Disney World.

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Like dis.

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And like dis.

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Dis too.

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But most importantly, like dis. I dare you to bring me a cuter mother.

After the PeopleMover, a snack was obligatory:

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Then we took a pretty lil walk to visit some of our favorite gals:

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This was my first time meeting these cuties at the Storybook Circus, and I loved their costumes so much, it made me want to scream and stress sweat. So I did a little bit of both.

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S’cute.

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Robyn with THE LADIES. Tom was probably having a cigarette and my mother usually refuses to be photographed, so, moving on!

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching the Festival of Fantasy Parade (next post), meandering about, and having lunch. After lunch, we visited Rapunzel in her tower bathroom, and I finally found some damn hidden Pascals. Thats a lie. Everyone else found them and showed me. BUT STILL.

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Sadly, Tifni was starting to get tired & was ready to head out – so we made two quick stops before she left.

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Naturally. Two mermaid besties have to go see their queen, don’t they?

And!

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We rode Dumbo! Which was a first for everyone except for Tifni. And it was a hoot, really. Enjoy glamor shots of each one of us in an elephant. Especially Tom & Robyn, who I feel really took it to the next level.

Sadly after that, Tifni left us 😦 But fortunately, we got to see another friend later in the evening –

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THE BEAST! At this point in the day, I had that frozen Britney Spears look on my face, but I promise I was having fun. I’m pretty addicted to Be Our Guest, tbh. Sorry bout it!

Anyway, so that was pretty much our day. The next post will be solely photos of the Festival of Fantasy parade – I just didn’t want to spoil the parade for any who may not have seen it. Expect it to be posted in 2 to 3 years, just like everything else. K bye!

Posted on in FANGIRLING, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, LIVE MUSIC, POP CULTURE

SO PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE YOU WANT TO

On Saturday night, Tom & I met up with Stephanie in Athens to see Third Eye Blind. It was amazing, but it always is, when Third Eye Blind is concerned. Their music is honestly poetry to a melody, I can’t think of many other artists or groups that I find so lyrically impressive and impactful.

The older I get, the more special it is for me to see and experience the music that I have grown up with live. It’s just such a surreal thing – almost like you get to see a glimpse of your younger self, who you used to be, for just the tiniest of split seconds. At the show on Saturday, I was both 16 years old remembering how I used to bellow along to “Wounded” and bellyache about Taylor Hanson getting married, and 29 years old, present day, now having grown up to know what “Wounded” really means.

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“The only people who will ever know what this is like is us, man.”

Anyway, it was a great night. I could hardly see the band for the majority of the show because of the screaming drunk women taking snapchat photos, but that’s okay. I got to hear it all, and that is what matters. Also, there is a video of Stephan singing “Dopamine”, my favorite song, into my camera, and if I was smarter and knew how to upload videos from my camera, I would show that to you. Alas, earwax.

In close, as a special bonus, here are some glamour shots of Stephanie & I, because we looked like damn 90s supermodels, and basically these are my favorite pictures of us ever.

Posted on in ASHLEY IN WONDERLAND, disney

DISNEY DAY 1 – MARCH 2016

Hi all! So, I’ve decided that the best way to share all of my Disney World photos and stories with everyone is just to blog about them, because I always hate feeling like some adult loser bombarding tons of Disney photos to people who don’t care about them. So, feel free to click on the DISNEY tag here for a comprehensive collection of all my Disney adventures!

So, let’s catch up on my last trip. First off: our arrival and dinner with Tifni & Josh!

This was our second time staying at the Art of Animation resort, and I’m a big fan of the place. For starters, I will go anywhere that has a create your own pasta bar, and those are just cold hard facts. Really though, AoA has such gorgeous theming – you totally feel like you are living the Disney dream the moment you arrive. As one could deduce by the name, it is alllll about modern Disney animation, and I looOooOove it. What I do not love is when I have spent 13 hours in the parks and my cankles are swollen and I have to hear the Miley Cyrus cover of “Part of Your World” for the 50th time in a day on the shuttle, but you know, whatever. Small price to pay for all dat fun.

So we stayed in one of the Lion King family suites, which was so cute I could have died. Robyn, Tom, and moi-self bunked up in the main room, and Mom smartly holed herself up in the single room. Here are some pictures of the room before we destroyed it with the tsunami that is our disgusting selves:

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Some things to note – ALL OF IT BECAUSE HOW DAMN DARE IT BE SO ADORABLE. But really, it was super neat. The chair was a grub, for heaven’s sake! Robyn’s bed could fold into a dining room table, and mine folded back into a couch. Bless the versatility. And it all provided us the opportunity to sing The Lion King soundtrack all week long, and what could be better? NOTHING.

Moving on! Tom & I are big fat fatties who plan our entire Disney trip around where we want to eat (I am not kidding about this), and I caught a whiff of a place called Sanaa (over in Kidani Village at the Animal Kingdom Lodge) where you could a – order bread service (sold) and b – watch giraffes prance by from your window whilst you gorged (double sold) – so I booked a reservation for our first night in town. In the most exciting of news, Tifni, my IG turned IRL BFF, and her fiancé, Josh, came to have dinner with us! YAAAAAAS FRIENDS!!! UNITING IN HOLY FRIEND UNITY AT DISNEY!

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First time visiting the Animal Kingdom Lodge, woot woot!

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This photo is called “Foliage” in honor of us going outside for once in our lives.

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This photo is called “I can’t even be modest, my makeup looked so damn good I deserve an award”

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ERRRRMAAAGERRRRD

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The giraffe is in this photo, but the redhead also in this photo wasn’t smart enough to change the focus. So make it a game – FIND THE GIRAFFE!

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Sadly, Sanaa was kind of meh – I probably wouldn’t choose to go there again, honestly. I’m just trying to find the nicest way to say it made me poop a lot, but I guess there’s no sugarcoating that. Alas (earwax), as Alanis would say, “you live, you learn” – and I’m glad that we at least experienced it once! While the food wasn’t my favorite, it was a truly beautiful restaurant – I really dug the scenery – AND GIRAFFES APPEARED, AS PROMISED. I also dug that Robyn got a little boozy and made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself. Finally, and most of all, it was great to reunite with Tifni & Josh, because they are hilarious and awesome and anyone who is willing to spend an evening with us deserves a medal. Someone get those two a medal.

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That time Robyn was everything.

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Just a few supermodels paling around together in the AKL gift shop, as supermodels tend to do. You know how it is.

So that is it for our first night! Next up: DAY AT MAGIC KINGDOM WITH TIFNI!